Demotivation

I was expecting it. On returning to The Gambia I knew that, however happy I was to be home, coming back from a holiday would leave me with confused emotions and a drop in my mood. It's a long time to be away from home and I know from experience how hard getting the work done is going to be. And yet, two weeks after coming home a wave a demotivation hit hard.

Naturally tenacious, sometimes to the point of not knowing when to stop, demotivation is not something I'm well equipped to deal with. Partly it was the ongoing tiredness from a residential. In the UK taking time off in lieu of the weekends and evenings worked away from home would be policy. Here it's not and it took time to remember that I know that works. So on Tuesday I spent a day in pyjamas watching films and the rain, treating myself to a mini bottle of wine carried from UK with pasta and Parmesan.

And then this is where the VSO network comes in. I went for a drink with Natalie and Nicola (they invited me for exercise which would have been a great mood lifter but I was still wearing pyjamas when they were warming up). We chatted and I heard tales of love and romance, weddings and washed out walkways. Hungry, we asked someone to find peanuts for us and a smoking bag of hot toasted groundnuts appeared on our table a few moments later. There were about twice the number of nuts as we would've had if we'd bought them ourself in packets but we managed to finish them all off. It was a moment of "ah, there are nice things here" which was badly needed.

The following day I was back at work, still struggling with motivation. A quick trip to the VSO involved greeting everyone and looking cheerful. No post (sigh), forgotten library books, then I decided under "drink as soon as you think of drinking" rules to get water. The kitchen revealed a gaggle of volunteers. When questioned I replied I was demotivated and was sagely advised by Rob "when you're demotivated, motivate someone else".

And so it was that the following day I made sure I asked about issues and listened and advised, I praised others and reminded them of forgotten achievements, I thanked colleagues publicly for compliments. I went to VSO Agnes' leaving do and heard what people were grateful for then I made sure we spent the evening at her favourite beach with her favourite people in the country. It took a lot of concentration to get out of my own despondency and back into what I'm here to do, to be a catalyst for change. But by the end I even thought "maybe extending the placement isn't a 'never never'" idea after all.