Celebrating lives

Church last week included an introduction to how major life events are marked. Of course this is in the Catholic community rather than the Muslim community which makes up the majority of The Gambia. However, it's still interesting to observe and take part in. On Wednesday I sang for the vigil prayers for the funeral of a parishioner. This woman, Mary Jaal "Mam May" Njie, had established the Catholic Women's Guild and was obviously a stalwart firebrand of the parish. Tributes to her lasted for over an hour, with the prayers of the Rosary recited and her favourite hymns sung. She had clearly touched many lives, and the church was packed.

The following day I pulled out a black and white dress, which are funeral colours here. Having decided it didn't suit me I'd altered the dress into a halter neck a few days earlier by candle light. Agnes commented that I needed to cover my back to be respectful which meant I spent a very hot day in a jacket and thick black dress with heels. Still, the funeral progressed with flowers covering the coffin, a long heartfelt sermon from the priest. We sang many songs and the coffin was taken to the graveyard next to the church. As I had never met the family I didn't travel to their house, though many others did.

Every choir member is entitled to the choir singing at their wedding. Therefore on Saturday we met at the local church to sing for a girl named Marie and her husband Thomas. The wedding party involved several sets of bridesmaids, older women in purple and a gaggle of young girls in ruched pink dresses with blue satin bows. There was a little bride and groom, children dressed to match the couple, and of course Marie wore a white sparkly dress with veil and satin fingerless gloves.

We sang a lot, including a spontaneous Ghanaian song as this is Thomas' homeland. The sermon considered that both the husband and wife have to obey and respect each other and admonished some husbands think this only applies to the wife. However of course the model of marriage still assumed that could show respect Thomas getting home from his work in time to eat the food Marie had prepared.

I decided to go along to the reception to which everyone was invited, in sharp contrast to the "no plus ones and reserve list" planning seen in UK weddings. In fact another alto, Marie Isabelle, dragged me into a car and made sure I was involved. As an aside Marie Isabelle is highly glamorous, a great dancer and lives in an apartment on her own. By the end of the reception I felt I'd found a kindred spirit, and someone to help me improve my language skills. [ see photo with a rather dramatic green lighting.]

In contrast to a UK wedding it was the older women rather than than the children who were up dancing first. [see photos] We danced around the chairs set up to face what would become the high table when the wedding party arrived. Stamping our feet and clapping mixed up with a bit of salsa style. Of course I ended up surrounded by a gang of young girls swinging our arms about.

A cohort of women served food; snack plates of cake, coconut tart, meat pasty and hot dog, followed quickly by a buffet benachin (fried rice) then later grilled chicken and salads. Men dragged round crates of soft drinks and beer, though to everyone's amusement our hands were empty for the toasts. At 9.30 I wandered home, bone tired, full of food and very happy.